STOP ACTA !!!

Pericol la locul de munca

Insurance Jokes

An agent walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, a genie appeared.
I will grant you three wishes“, said the genie. “But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well — only double.
The salesman thought about this for a while.
For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars“, he announced.
Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. “But your rival has just received $20,000,000“, the genie said.
I’ve always wanted a Ferrari“, the salesman said. Instantly a Ferrari appeared.
But your rival has just received two Ferrari’s“, the genie said. “And what is your last wish“?
Well“, said the salesman, “I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney“.
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Last night as I was sleeping, I died or so it seemed, then I went to heaven, but only in my dream. Up there St. Peter met me, standing at the pearly gates.
He said: “I must check your record, please stand here and wait“.
He turned and said: “Your record is covered with terrible flaws. On earth, I see you rallied for every losing cause. I see that you drank alcohol and smoked and used drugs too. Fact is, you’ve done everything a good person should never do. We can’t have people like you up here, your life was full of sin“. Then he read the last of my record, took my hand and said: “Come in“.
He lead me up to the big boss and said: “Take him in and treat him well. He used to work in Insurance, he’s done his time in hell“.
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Two insurance salesmen were driving down a country road at high speed and passed a pickup truck with an old couple inside.
Look at those fools! Must be a couple of insurance salesman and they will surely meet their maker soon, I tell you“.
Well, sure enough, a little while later the couple comes across a bad accident involving the two insurance salesmen. “Well, we got to do what any good folk would do and give’m a decent burial“.
So the couple dug a hole and buried the insurance salesman. Just as they were putting their tools away, a cop drives up.
You folks see this accident?”
No sir, but we knew them dang fools were going to have it when they passed us doing a hunert miles an hour. Well, we finally come across the accident and gave them insurance salesman a decent burial.”
Are you sure that they were dead???”
Well, they said they weren’t, but you know how those insurance salesmen exaggerate!”
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My dinner party was headed for disaster. One man, an insurance salesman, was monopolizing the conversation with a lengthy account of recent litigation involving himself. Since two other guests were lawyers, I was becoming increasingly uneasy.
In the end“, the salesman concluded, “you know who got all the money?”
I cringed when he shouted “The lawyers!”
There was embarrassed silence at the table. My heart was pounding until the wife of one lawyer said: “Oh, I love a story with a happy ending!”
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A man is walking down the street smoking, drinking bourbon and swearing to himself. A preacher came over to him and dressed him down good. He finished with: “I´m 64 years old and I have never smoked, drank or swore!”
The man replied: “Yes, and you ain´t going to sell insurance either!”
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The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said: “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?”
I said: “Fire and theft“.
Insurance agent frowned. “Uh! Oh! Wrong kind! Should be fire OR theft“.
Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house is robbed WHILE it’s burning down.

If you have a minute… That’s great!

Scurtmetraj

Regia: Ivo Baru

Premii: Premiul de popularitate la Festivalul International CineMaIubit 2003

Un job cel putin interesant!

Navigand pe paginile unor site-uri de job-uri am gasit un anunt de voluntariat. Din cate am vazut, au nevoie de 5 oameni. M-am gandit ca poate foloseste cuiva, asa ca iata-l:

CANDIDATUL IDEAL:
You have to be active, hard working and highly motivated to do long-term sustainable development.
You don’t need to have previous experience or education, high motivation is enough!

RESPONSABILITATI / BENEFICII:
International humanitarian movement HUMANA PEOPLE TO PEOPLE is looking for volunteers. You can contribute to the fight against HIV/AIDS and poverty by joining the Development Instructor Programme – an international volunteer programme. We work in Mosambique, Zambia and Guinea Bissau.

A life changing experience – for yourself and the people in Africa you work with!

You can work on following projects:
• Child Aid
• Street childen in Children’s town
• Fight against HIV/AIDS
• Vocational school
• Teachers´ traning college
• Farmers’s club
• Second hand clothes

Development Instructor Programme is a 14-month programme:
• 6 months training in Denmark
• 6 months development work at a project in Africa
• 2 months evaluation and information work in Europe

Enrolment fee is normally 370€, but we have special reduced fee for Romanians. rest of the school fees and travel costs you can cover by working in our school 4 months before training. In Denmark you get accomodation and food and in Africa you get also pocket money.

You CAN make a difference!

More information in English: niina@lindrsvold.dk
Visit also our website: www.lindersvold.dk

DESCRIEREA COMPANIEI SAU A JOBULUI:
HUMANA PEOPLE TO PEOPLE is currently running more than 285 projects in Africa, involving more than 10 million people. So far, 6000 Development Instructors (our word for volunteer) have participated in starting up and running these projects.